You think you are past your “sell-by date” When aches and pains appear It takes a wee while longer To drink your pint of beer. You cannot hold your water Always bursting at the seams You go to bed early And hope for decent dreams. You wake up during the night To have yet another pee You do not have the bloody brains To turn on a light to see. When you fumble back into bed The dogs took your bloody place So you end up on the cold part While he snores out of his face! When morning comes eventually After another of those restless nights You head for the bathroom As the cold winter bites. The aches and pains still there Your knees have a good old “crack” As you try to come to some order And try to straighten your back. All you can do is be pleased You have awoken to another day. So folks keep on smiling It is the only way.